I read something last night that went a little bit like this. “God loves you for who you are, not for who you will become.” Simple, and I’m sure I’ve heard it a million times before, but man I needed to hear it right now. You see, I think I’ve been thinking along the lines that the Lord is withholding all of His love (or some) for me until I become who I need to be. Well, there’s a few problems with that logic. First off, it’s definitely not biblical thinking to say that God won’t love me completely at any point. He is love, so He can’t just love a little. He loves completely, for it is who He is. It also never says in the Bible that because I am sinful and struggling right now, that He will love me less. Also, the person that I think I should be…well, that’s just it. It’s who I think I should be. I have a mental checklist of sorts, that says who I should be in the next few years, where I should be, and I’m constantly striving for it. Yet, it’s a huge battle in and of itself, because I rarely achieve these goals on my own, and I get really upset at myself for failing. I don’t give myself a break, ever. My sin and failings are constantly at the forefront of my mind, and I don’t ask for help, yet I don’t give up on myself either. But, that’s the problem. I’m trying to achieve these lofty goals for myself all on my own. When, maybe, the Lord has different plans for me, that He wants to help me get to, in His timing, on His watch, by His love and grace.
Yes, He is constantly transforming and refining me and conforming me to His image, but He’s not loving me any less, or having any less grace for me because I’m not there yet…and the thing is, I don’t even know what “there” looks like 🙂 It is sinful to think that He withholds love from me because I don’t perform well or I’m not living up to some standard I’ve set for myself. Basically, I’m not living in His grace and believing the Gospel for my life when I think that way. And, this thinking has to change. I’m just thankful it’s by the Holy Spirit’s work in me that will change this sinful thinking, and not by any of my own efforts. Praise be for that!